Category Archives: Sports
Dusty Baker Continues To Kill Pitcher’s Future
The lights gleamed brightly in his eyes. Sweat dripped slowly down his brow. Aroldis Chapman took a deep breath, and then hesitated. He pulled back and then unleashed his strongest fastball, pouring every ounce of his strength into it. 93 … Continue reading
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Tagged 105 mph fastball, almost a good idea, aroldis chapman, baseball, baseball statistics, candy, cincinatti, cincinatti reds, dusty "mark prior's blood" baker, dusty baker, dusty baker career maker, dusty baker cares for kids, dusty baker kills pitchers, fire joe morgan, hot, jobs that don't involve waking up, joe morgan, liquor, mlb, pitchers, pitching, record breaking fastball, sabremetrics, sex, statistics
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Tell John McEnroe How You Feel…. In Person
An online auction starting Thursday will grant two wealthy bored individuals the ability to purchase one hour of John McEnroe’s valuable time! Time that might otherwise be spent…. doing stuff…. We imagine him in Tahiti with two naked women at … Continue reading
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Tagged candy, hot, john fucking mcenroe, john mcenroe, john mcenroe loves you, liquor, porn, porno, say hello to john mcenroe's little friend, sex, Sports, tennis, tennis new, tennis rules, tennisirific
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NFL Lockout-opolis: Second Lawsuit Filed Before First Finished
In a stunning and totally foreseeable twist in the NFL lockout saga, a second lawsuit has been filed for an injunction by a long list of retired players and a few more yet-to-be players claiming they will suffer the same … Continue reading
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Tagged candy, hot, liquor, nfl, nfl lockout, porn, roger goodell knows whats best, sex, Sports, the common man is my bitch, using the law for spite, walking the common road
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Where can I buy one?
It’s hard to imagine someone being so stupid as to actually bring up slavery in the context of a $9 billion dollar labor suit between less than 5,000 people but Adrian Peterson went there. Part of the reason I originally … Continue reading
John Wall, Giant Slayer
Video from last nights game. A few observations on the video. 1. When did the NBA become WWE? 2. Why didn’t Lebron get punched in the balls? 3. Does Ilgauskas ever even need to jump? 4. Who’s John Wall again?
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Tagged basketball brawl, bungle in the jungle, candy, draft, draft picks, hot, john wall giant slayer, john wall is thor, liquor, nba, nba lockout, sex, Sports
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Millionaire Moan Fest Extravaganza!
Fresh on the heels of the NFL lockout and probably millionaire whinegasm and strike comes the news that Commissioner Stern and his billionaire owner minions have decided to dictate the terms of the new CBA. And those rules are a hard salary cap. Continue reading
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Tagged blue collar commissioner stern, candy, commissioner, hot, liquor, lockout, millionaire whinefest, nba, nba lockout, nfl lockout, sex, Sports, stern, sternenstein, the common man is my bitch
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Steel Thunder Strikes in “Sixburgh”
It looks like our first spotted supervillain has fully made himself known. Continue reading
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Tagged afc, ballgame, candy, cardinals, championship, football, game, hot, liquor, nfc, nfl, royal birds that never took, sex, Sports, steel thunder, steelers, steroid happy time, things that make ray lewis angry
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Jay Mariotti Wants You To Know
that “Roger Ebert, whom I’ve met once, can kiss my ass.” That’s douchebag Chicago sports psuedo-journalist Jay Mariotti on recovering thyroid and salivary gland cancer patient, Roger Ebert.
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Tagged candy, hot, jay, jay mariotti class act, journalism, liquor, mariotti, sex, Sports, stupid person says what
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Dan Reeves to Continue Rampage Upon NFL Teams
Former Bronco’s head coach Dan Reeves wants another shot at the NFL. Which is no different than any other year, except that this year someone’s listening. Continue reading
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Tagged 49ers, ballgame, broncos, candy, dan, dan reeves destroyer of worlds, football, hot, liquor, niners, reeves, reeves monster, sex, Sports, third down punt
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Scott Pioli Puts An End To Hermisms
Looks like the lovable bungling idiot thing wears off quick when you’re bad at your job. Who would’ve thought? After much speculation, and far too many second chances, Herm Edwards has been shitcanned today. What’s the plan now Scotty? Apparently, … Continue reading
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Tagged ball, ballgame, candy, chiefs, edwards, football, fun, herm, herm edwards lovable idiot, hot, kansas, kansas city, kc, kc chiefs, liquor, pioli, scott, scott pioli eats puppies, sex, Sports, superbowl champion kansas city chiefs
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