Headlines From The Future – One Week Edition: Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

President Hope

President Hope declares every Friday free candy, beer, and ponies day in the continental United States. Take that Palin!

President Obama takes office, world peace declared – Completing the quickest rise in history from total nobody to celbri-god, Barack Obama took office two days ago, and already world peace has been declared. When asked why they both laid down their arms, both Israeli and Palestinian’s replied in unison “Just look at him, he’s so awesome!”

Bush truly sorry, blames Cheney – After everything that’s gone on in his administration over the past four years, President Bush would like you to know that he’s sorry. Truly sorry. Very, very truly sorry. And mostly that it was all that mean ole’ Dick’s fault. He made him do all of it.

Condi pregnant – And wait until you find out who’s the father….

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