In one last daring act of bravado, President Bush skinned a live raccoon in his last speech before the American people. The raccoon’s death has already brought about series of strong condemnations from animal rights organizations such as PETA, as well as parental advocacy groups who were unaware such a gruesome act was going to be seen by their unsuspecting children.
Lost in the anger over the gruesome act is the fact that Bush’s approval rating is still at 74% amongst registered Republicans.
The raccoon, named Fluffy, by the man who caught it, screamed in miserable agony as a childish glee seemed to overtake the President’s face. Backstage Dick Cheney allegedly berated an assistant to get him a new change of pants.
Harry Reid has this to say, “How anyone can possibly go onto national television and slaughter an innocent varmint in front of MY children, err, OUR children is outrageous. Simply outrageous, and because of this I have no choice but to issue our strongest letter of reprimand with the boldest color of ink on the strongest color of paper available to us at this time, beige.”
Reid reportedly then returned to his “lair” in the South Philippines to feast on the bones of the tribesmen who surround his isle.
Pressed for comments, Fluffy’s family could not be reached.