Where can I buy one?

No seriously, how much?

The face of a modern day slave.

It’s hard to imagine someone being so stupid as to actually bring up slavery in the context of a $9 billion dollar labor suit between less than 5,000 people but Adrian Peterson went there.

Part of the reason I originally became a millionaire was so that I could own the rights to a human soul.

Now it just seems that I’ve set the bar to low in regards to price. Peterson is what? $11 million a year plus?

I can do that.

Average life of an NFL player is only, what? 30 years? I can do $33 million.

Hell, I can do a few of them. Throw in some low price practice squad members and I might be able to afford an evil army after all.

Hmm, an army of psuedo NFL players…. We might conquer Tripoli afterall….

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