Peruvian Election Results Before They’ve Even Voted!

Lake Titicaca in all it's glory.

According to Inca Kola News:

This report a direct translation from this Spanish language AFP note this afternoon:

Peru: Shamans Predict That Humala and Toledo Will Go To The Second Round Run-Off

Using potions, coca leaves, snakes, cards, flowers and skulls, Peruvian shamans in mystic ritual predicted this Tuesday that left-wing Ollanta Humala and ex-President Alejandro Toledo will get through to the second round run-off in this Sunday’s election in Peru.

“The majority of the master shamans have visualized that the candidates Ollanta Humala and Alejandro Toledo will pass to the second electoral round”, Juan Osco, known as ‘The Shaman of the Andes’, told AFP. Ten Shamans from the Andean region shook their maracas and threw flowers at photographs of the five principal candidate for the Presidency of Peru; Ollanta Humala, Alejandro Toledo, Keiko Fujimori, Pedro Pablo Kuczynski and Luis Castañeda.

“We have taken ayahuasca (the potion of the spirits) to give this forecast”, said Osco after finishing the ritual in the centre of Peru’s capital city, Lima.

Osco said that in the second round, ex-President Toledo would win the elections with 60% of the vote.

Humala, a retired army officer who in the year 2000 led a mutiny against the government of Alberto Fujimori, has according to opinion polls a 7 to 8 point lead over ex-President Toledo, congresswoman Keiko Fujimori and ex-minister Kuczynski who are in a technical dead-heat for second.

Sounds like some grade-A ayahuasca to us. That’s what happens when you don’t mellow it out with other drugs man, you start thinking you’re seeing the future.

When will people in other countries learn how to handle their shit? It’s not all spiritual just because you saw some shit.

I’ve seen shit man. Real shit.

Shit you wouldn’t even believe.

Man.

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