All Of Armenia Wired To One Phone Booth


In what appears to be the first strike against our formerly nominated Modern Hero of the Week The Internet, all of Armenia has been cut off from it.

The 75 year old woman had been scavenging for copper at the time, a lucrative trade for those brave enough to risk angry inbred farmers and any virii transmitted through hobo bites.

Since this was a Georgian woman cutting off all internet access for neighboring Armenia, we can’t help but wonder if this is some form of early attack, cut off access to the internet, and force your entire bored population out into the streets to look for porn the old fashioned way. Then while they’re distracted and horny, blow them up.

Wait, whats the internet used for again?

Nevermind that, what’s important is that we be the first news agency to give this clearly in need of help, deranged woman a nickname. What about the “Copper Crone?” or the “iMa’am?”

Dubbed “the spade-hacker” by local media, the woman – who has not been named – is being investigated on suspicion of damaging property. She faces up to three years in prison if charged and convicted.


Well, at least she’s clearly getting the help she’s in need of rather than being arbitrarily punished for something she likely won’t remember….


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