Toddlers and Alcohol. A Thought Experiment.

The face of pure evil.

What do you do when you take your toddler to Applebee’s and notice several minutes after the bartender brings him a drink he’s talking to a wall belligerently and falling asleep in his plate of chicken tenders?

Ask why the bartender is serving your toddler in the first place of course. That’s what happened to Dominic Wilson and Tayler Dill-Reese when they ordered their son an apple juice.

Clearly ignoring the strange color of the margarita mix his son was inhaling without so much as making a face, Dominic Wilson Sr. was ready to pass off his sons odd behavior as a lack of sleep. That is until he got a taste of the offending apple juice.

Dominic Jr. was rushed to the hospital where his blood alcohol level had reached an astonishing .10.

I can’t blow a .10 when I’m in Tijuana on a tequila and hookers binge, so props to that kid for an astonishing mind blowing hangover.

Literally mindblowing:

“They said if he had drank that whole cup he would have died,” she said, adding that she and her family will never return to the eatery….

….Dill-Reese said the child is doing OK but they are taking him to see a doctor because he’s “not eating like he used to.”

Poor little guy just needs a greasy ass burger and some fries. Maybe some doobage, mother nature’s cure-all, he’ll be right as rain before you know it.

Maybe not as bright as he was going to be though.

Oh well, it’s Michigan anyways. The best he can hope for is growing up to lead your hometown Lions all the way to a one and done playoff run.

Poor Michigan, it really is too bad it’s so far away from hurricane alley.

….Cross another state off the list of states no longer reading this paper.

Wait nevermind, nobody from Michigan can read.

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