Author Archives: billabramson

Modern Hero of the Week: Stalker’s Delight

Every week we here at Modern Hero News Network like to honor just that certain special kind of asshole with a certain special kind of asshole award. This week’s unfortunate contribution to the gene pool is: Modern Hero of the … Continue reading

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Justice Really IS What A Judge Had For Breakfast

And my judge must have had a steaming pile of crap for breakfast. But I digress, recent studies have delved into the idea of whether a judge’s decision really is determined more by what he at last, or more accurately … Continue reading

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All Hail The New God: Napster

In the United States if you do something as a part of your religious sacrament, you cannot, by law, be forced to stop doing that, even if that action is illegal. On every level, even the federal level, this is … Continue reading

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Budget Deal Cuts $352 Million, Not $38 Billion

Finally, finally, finally! We have a government in place to hold tight fiscal policies and bring an end to the spend happy days of yore where government employees were given free reign to make it rain in strip clubs across … Continue reading

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What To Vomit Tonight: Mexican Microbrews

From the LA Times: It sounds like a movie where high jinks ensue: A teetotaling Mexican hotel worker travels to England, befriends a whisky-drinking Irishman and scrubs toilets in a pub while learning to brew killer beer. Such is the … Continue reading

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Dead Dolphins Not A Topic For Dinner

Mississippi and Georgia shorelines are being covered in something new. No, not water. No, not still oil. The truth is far more unsettling, dead dolphins, many of whom are still born infants, have been washing up on shore in record … Continue reading

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Modern Hero of the Week: The Gas God

Every week we here at Modern Hero News Network like to honor just that certain special kind of asshole with a certain special kind of asshole award. This week’s unfortunate contribution to the gene pool is: Modern Hero of the … Continue reading

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Professor Fired For Adding Strippers To Curriculum

La Salle University moved swiftly to suspend a professor when it was discovered he had actually made it interesting to go to class. In what is considered a most egregious error in the modern school system, a professor thought outside … Continue reading

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Beer: Still The King!

Pull up a stool and grab a tall frosty one, it’s Friday bitches! We here at Modern Hero can guarantee we are way ahead of all of you on the drinking front. Where have you been? Why didn’t you start … Continue reading

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The Case of the Magically Disappearing/Reappearing Votes

When 14,000 votes go unrecorded in a state election, you might think someone would take notice. When those 14,000 votes reappear and swing the state of an election to an entirely different judge, you might think some questions would be … Continue reading

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