Tag Archives: jobs that don’t involve waking up

Dusty Baker Continues To Kill Pitcher’s Future

The lights gleamed brightly in his eyes. Sweat dripped slowly down his brow. Aroldis Chapman took a deep breath, and then hesitated. He pulled back and then unleashed his strongest fastball, pouring every ounce of his strength into it. 93 … Continue reading

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Professor Fired For Adding Strippers To Curriculum

La Salle University moved swiftly to suspend a professor when it was discovered he had actually made it interesting to go to class. In what is considered a most egregious error in the modern school system, a professor thought outside … Continue reading

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Kevin Smith Not Ready To Be Kevin Smith

In a shocking twist on common sense and fan appreciation, Kevin Smith has recently announced that after he’s done promoting his new movie Red State he will retire. Planning to spend the rest of his life hanging out and…. uhh…. … Continue reading

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Indonesian Porn News: Douchebag Arrested For Being Hypocrite

Mr. Arifinto of the Islamic Prosperous Justice Party is a man of principle. A man of integrity. And a man of strong moral values. He is a man elected to one of his nations highest offices based on a platform … Continue reading

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Belkin Buys Positive Reviews, Get In Before The Lawsuit

In what will easily become the best marketing move of the century, Belkin was recently caught red-handed buying positive reviews for one of their god awful routers. Continue reading

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