Tag Archives: sex

Lionfish: It’s What’s For Dinner

I didn’t know that being a good environmentalist sometimes meant eating tasty threats to the environment of other native species. In fact, I may have to rethink the whole sham after all. Take for example, the lionfish. Not an appetizing … Continue reading

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Dead Dolphins Not A Topic For Dinner

Mississippi and Georgia shorelines are being covered in something new. No, not water. No, not still oil. The truth is far more unsettling, dead dolphins, many of whom are still born infants, have been washing up on shore in record … Continue reading

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Modern Hero of the Week: The Gas God

Every week we here at Modern Hero News Network like to honor just that certain special kind of asshole with a certain special kind of asshole award. This week’s unfortunate contribution to the gene pool is: Modern Hero of the … Continue reading

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Professor Fired For Adding Strippers To Curriculum

La Salle University moved swiftly to suspend a professor when it was discovered he had actually made it interesting to go to class. In what is considered a most egregious error in the modern school system, a professor thought outside … Continue reading

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Beer: Still The King!

Pull up a stool and grab a tall frosty one, it’s Friday bitches! We here at Modern Hero can guarantee we are way ahead of all of you on the drinking front. Where have you been? Why didn’t you start … Continue reading

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Facebook Disproves of Vaginas

A French father of three is claiming censorship today when he went to log onto his Facebook account and found that it had been suspended without notice. Claiming consistent contact with  over 800 friends and  relatives, the man now claims … Continue reading

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Kevin Smith Not Ready To Be Kevin Smith

In a shocking twist on common sense and fan appreciation, Kevin Smith has recently announced that after he’s done promoting his new movie Red State he will retire. Planning to spend the rest of his life hanging out and…. uhh…. … Continue reading

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The Case of the Magically Disappearing/Reappearing Votes

When 14,000 votes go unrecorded in a state election, you might think someone would take notice. When those 14,000 votes reappear and swing the state of an election to an entirely different judge, you might think some questions would be … Continue reading

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Indonesian Porn News: Douchebag Arrested For Being Hypocrite

Mr. Arifinto of the Islamic Prosperous Justice Party is a man of principle. A man of integrity. And a man of strong moral values. He is a man elected to one of his nations highest offices based on a platform … Continue reading

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Toddlers and Alcohol. A Thought Experiment.

What do you do when you take your toddler to Applebee’s and notice several minutes after the bartender brings him a drink he’s talking to a wall belligerently and falling asleep in his plate of chicken tenders? Ask why the … Continue reading

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