Tag Archives: sex

Budget Deal Cuts $352 Million, Not $38 Billion

Finally, finally, finally! We have a government in place to hold tight fiscal policies and bring an end to the spend happy days of yore where government employees were given free reign to make it rain in strip clubs across … Continue reading

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What To Vomit Tonight: Mexican Microbrews

From the LA Times: It sounds like a movie where high jinks ensue: A teetotaling Mexican hotel worker travels to England, befriends a whisky-drinking Irishman and scrubs toilets in a pub while learning to brew killer beer. Such is the … Continue reading

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Dusty Baker Continues To Kill Pitcher’s Future

The lights gleamed brightly in his eyes. Sweat dripped slowly down his brow. Aroldis Chapman took a deep breath, and then hesitated. He pulled back and then unleashed his strongest fastball, pouring every ounce of his strength into it. 93 … Continue reading

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Lionfish: It’s What’s For Dinner

I didn’t know that being a good environmentalist sometimes meant eating tasty threats to the environment of other native species. In fact, I may have to rethink the whole sham after all. Take for example, the lionfish. Not an appetizing … Continue reading

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Dead Dolphins Not A Topic For Dinner

Mississippi and Georgia shorelines are being covered in something new. No, not water. No, not still oil. The truth is far more unsettling, dead dolphins, many of whom are still born infants, have been washing up on shore in record … Continue reading

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Modern Hero of the Week: The Gas God

Every week we here at Modern Hero News Network like to honor just that certain special kind of asshole with a certain special kind of asshole award. This week’s unfortunate contribution to the gene pool is: Modern Hero of the … Continue reading

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Professor Fired For Adding Strippers To Curriculum

La Salle University moved swiftly to suspend a professor when it was discovered he had actually made it interesting to go to class. In what is considered a most egregious error in the modern school system, a professor thought outside … Continue reading

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