Tag Archives: the common man is my bitch

Modern Hero of the Week: Stalker’s Delight

Every week we here at Modern Hero News Network like to honor just that certain special kind of asshole with a certain special kind of asshole award. This week’s unfortunate contribution to the gene pool is: Modern Hero of the … Continue reading

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I Want

I want. To blow this up. With firecrackers. Anyone else down? I’ll videotape the whole thing to, “Priceless Interpretation Of Jeff Koons Exploded.” Sounds like a huge seller to me.

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Justice Really IS What A Judge Had For Breakfast

And my judge must have had a steaming pile of crap for breakfast. But I digress, recent studies have delved into the idea of whether a judge’s decision really is determined more by what he at last, or more accurately … Continue reading

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4-20: Pot Party Forgotten Memory Days

Woooh happy 4-20! April 20th folks! Wake and bake! Or whatever. Potheads are lame. And we don’t condone them unless we know them, and they share. But most of them don’t, so our logic fits. I could use this space … Continue reading

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Budget Deal Cuts $352 Million, Not $38 Billion

Finally, finally, finally! We have a government in place to hold tight fiscal policies and bring an end to the spend happy days of yore where government employees were given free reign to make it rain in strip clubs across … Continue reading

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Dead Dolphins Not A Topic For Dinner

Mississippi and Georgia shorelines are being covered in something new. No, not water. No, not still oil. The truth is far more unsettling, dead dolphins, many of whom are still born infants, have been washing up on shore in record … Continue reading

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Modern Hero of the Week: The Gas God

Every week we here at Modern Hero News Network like to honor just that certain special kind of asshole with a certain special kind of asshole award. This week’s unfortunate contribution to the gene pool is: Modern Hero of the … Continue reading

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Facebook Disproves of Vaginas

A French father of three is claiming censorship today when he went to log onto his Facebook account and found that it had been suspended without notice. Claiming consistent contact with  over 800 friends and  relatives, the man now claims … Continue reading

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Kevin Smith Not Ready To Be Kevin Smith

In a shocking twist on common sense and fan appreciation, Kevin Smith has recently announced that after he’s done promoting his new movie Red State he will retire. Planning to spend the rest of his life hanging out and…. uhh…. … Continue reading

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Indonesian Porn News: Douchebag Arrested For Being Hypocrite

Mr. Arifinto of the Islamic Prosperous Justice Party is a man of principle. A man of integrity. And a man of strong moral values. He is a man elected to one of his nations highest offices based on a platform … Continue reading

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