Monthly Archives: March 2011
Willie Nelson Stars In “Pothead Prison”
Imagine driving through Texas, just across from the Mexican border with half a pound of the dankest Blue Diesal on the planet. Now there’s only two possibilities. Either you’re my favorite drug dealer and you’re late, or you’re Willie Nelson … Continue reading
Posted in Art
Tagged america loves willie nelson, candy, free willie, free willie nelson, hot, jesus loves willie nelson, law, liquor, magic bus tour, marijuana, marijuana law, nelson, norml, pot, pot law, sex, the common man is my bitch, willie, willie nelson, willie nelson for freedom, willie nelson's magic bus tour
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John Wall, Giant Slayer
Video from last nights game. A few observations on the video. 1. When did the NBA become WWE? 2. Why didn’t Lebron get punched in the balls? 3. Does Ilgauskas ever even need to jump? 4. Who’s John Wall again?
Posted in Sports
Tagged basketball brawl, bungle in the jungle, candy, draft, draft picks, hot, john wall giant slayer, john wall is thor, liquor, nba, nba lockout, sex, Sports
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Millionaire Moan Fest Extravaganza!
Fresh on the heels of the NFL lockout and probably millionaire whinegasm and strike comes the news that Commissioner Stern and his billionaire owner minions have decided to dictate the terms of the new CBA. And those rules are a hard salary cap. Continue reading
Posted in Sports
Tagged blue collar commissioner stern, candy, commissioner, hot, liquor, lockout, millionaire whinefest, nba, nba lockout, nfl lockout, sex, Sports, stern, sternenstein, the common man is my bitch
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Half A Million March for Bigger Government, More Spending
In a true show of insanity and fiscal irresponsibility, half a million people cut school and bailed from work to march in the streets in favor of larger government, and against cutting it. An unheard of cause in modern America, … Continue reading
Posted in Politics
Tagged $1 gas, big government bigger package, candy, chuck norris, hot, liquor, london, march, protest, sex, where the streets are all paved
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That Hipster Vibe
“Classy,” “trendy,” “romantic,” “dive-y,” and now “hipster.” Continue reading
Posted in Art
Tagged candy, dirty hipster, hipster, hipster hippie happenstance, hipster knows hip, hipster vibe, hot, liquor, sex, yelp
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Hello all you beautiful people (and ugly ones with killer personalities, I try not to judge)!
John M. Keller here, your alternative Editor here at MHN, and I’d like to welcome you all to the wacky, wild, and wonderful world of your everyday Modern Hero. Continue reading
Posted in Open Letter
Tagged candy, hot, liquor, open letter to the people of your anus, sex, stolen letter surprise
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Happy Days Relaunchapalooza
We’re back bitches! Holy shit that was a long time gone and to be honest nobody really knows what happened there for awhile. Let’s just say it was an unfortunate event involving a lot of tequila, a donkey, a case … Continue reading
Posted in Open Letter
Tagged candy, chuck norris, happy days, hot, liquor, march madness, relaunch, relaunchaganza, relaunchapalooza, relaunchgasm, relaunchismo, sex
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Modern Hero of the Week: Glorious Leader – Joe Arpaio
Every week we here at Modern Hero News Network like to honor just that certain special kind of asshole with a certain special kind of asshole award. This week’s unfortunate contribution to the gene pool is: Modern Hero of the … Continue reading
Posted in Modern Hero
Tagged candy, crazy man says what, glorious leader joe arpaio, hot, joe arpaio sex god, liquor, panty quilt, sex
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