Author Archives: johnmkeller
I Want
I want. To blow this up. With firecrackers. Anyone else down? I’ll videotape the whole thing to, “Priceless Interpretation Of Jeff Koons Exploded.” Sounds like a huge seller to me.
Posted in Art
Tagged art, candy, explosions we want, hot, liquor, necessary destruction, necessary explosions, rage, rageaholic, ragegate, ragetastic, sex, the common man is my bitch, weekend orgy
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Viagra Struggles To Keep It Up (Sales that is….)
With the market for pills solving erectile dysfunction set to pass $5 billion this year, smaller drug companies are set to go generic, with their own versions of some of the more popular name brand drugs like Viagra, Levitra, or … Continue reading
Posted in Technology
Tagged almost a good idea, candy, cialis, generic, generic pills, hot, levitra, liquor, penis, penis pills, penis poppers, penis technology, porn, porno, sex, steamy, Technology, thermometer, viagra, weekend orgy
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4-20: Pot Party Forgotten Memory Days
Woooh happy 4-20! April 20th folks! Wake and bake! Or whatever. Potheads are lame. And we don’t condone them unless we know them, and they share. But most of them don’t, so our logic fits. I could use this space … Continue reading
Posted in Politics
Tagged ....what?, 420, alcohol, alcohol is a drug, alcohol is not a drug, almost a good idea, booze, candy, drugs, drugs are bad, drugs are bad mmkay, drugs are.... fun, hot, liquor, marijuana, marijuana advocacy, marijuana affects the memory, marijuana and me, marijuana laws, marijuana..... what?, mary jane, mary jane and not in spiderman, michael jackson, michael jordan, mj, pot, pot party, sex, the common man is my bitch, untargeted nonrage, weekend orgy
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Dusty Baker Continues To Kill Pitcher’s Future
The lights gleamed brightly in his eyes. Sweat dripped slowly down his brow. Aroldis Chapman took a deep breath, and then hesitated. He pulled back and then unleashed his strongest fastball, pouring every ounce of his strength into it. 93 … Continue reading
Posted in Sports
Tagged 105 mph fastball, almost a good idea, aroldis chapman, baseball, baseball statistics, candy, cincinatti, cincinatti reds, dusty "mark prior's blood" baker, dusty baker, dusty baker career maker, dusty baker cares for kids, dusty baker kills pitchers, fire joe morgan, hot, jobs that don't involve waking up, joe morgan, liquor, mlb, pitchers, pitching, record breaking fastball, sabremetrics, sex, statistics
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Lionfish: It’s What’s For Dinner
I didn’t know that being a good environmentalist sometimes meant eating tasty threats to the environment of other native species. In fact, I may have to rethink the whole sham after all. Take for example, the lionfish. Not an appetizing … Continue reading
Posted in Politics
Tagged candy, climate, climatology, conservation, conservationism CAN be fun, conservationism is tasty, conservationists, conserve, cooking, cooking endangered species, cooking for freedom, cooking tips, cooking tips for endangered species, cooking up environmental disaster, environment, environmentalism, fish soup for freedom, fun environmentalism, funvironmentalism, hot, lionfish, lionfish dinner for freedom, lionfish food for freedom, liquor, sautee, sex, world peace
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Facebook Disproves of Vaginas
A French father of three is claiming censorship today when he went to log onto his Facebook account and found that it had been suspended without notice. Claiming consistent contact with over 800 friends and relatives, the man now claims … Continue reading
Posted in Art, Politics, Technology
Tagged art, artistic, artistic freedom, artistic freedom vs. nudity, artists united against facebook, artists united for vaginas, arts and crafts, candy, craft, crafts, craftsmanship, facebook, facebook hates vaginas, facebook made your vagina sad, hot, internet, interwebs, liquor, nude, nudity, porn, porno, sex, Technology, the common man is my bitch
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Kevin Smith Not Ready To Be Kevin Smith
In a shocking twist on common sense and fan appreciation, Kevin Smith has recently announced that after he’s done promoting his new movie Red State he will retire. Planning to spend the rest of his life hanging out and…. uhh…. … Continue reading
Posted in Art
Tagged candy, fan, fan appreciation at it's finest, fan favorite, fan favoritism, fans, hot, how to tell when you love your job, jobs that don't involve waking up, kevin smith, kevin smith god among men, kevin smith hardest working man in america, kevin smith hero, kevin smith sex god, liquor, porn, porno, sex, the common man is my bitch
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To Bill…. Again
I go away for a three-day weekend and I’m in rehab? I didn’t know it was physically possible for horseshit to spew from that high up on one.
Peruvian Election Results Before They’ve Even Voted!
According to Inca Kola News: This report a direct translation from this Spanish language AFP note this afternoon: Peru: Shamans Predict That Humala and Toledo Will Go To The Second Round Run-Off Using potions, coca leaves, snakes, cards, flowers and … Continue reading
Posted in Politics
Tagged america, candy, drugs are fun mmkay, hot, liquor, peru, peru power, peruvian pals, peruvian politics, porn, porno, sex, south america, south of the border fun time
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Modern Hero News (MHN) 